Why Him? Why Her? – Chemical Compatibility

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Why Him? Why Her? a book by Dr Helen Fisher

This is possibly the first and only book on dating, compatibility testing and falling in love that really looks at why we are attracted to certain people.

Certainly one man’s idea of heaven is another man’s hell.

So, what does Dr Fisher say that is helpful for those seeking partners? The answer lies in our chemistry.

In us, there are essentially a handful of chemicals that make us who we are – our personality type. These chemicals are:

  • Dopamine
  • Testosterone
  • Serotonin
  • Estrogen and Oxytocin

and, I guess, in lay person’s terms while we are all a combination of all four types, one type tends to dominate in each of us.

The first personality type is called the Explorer. They are driven by dopamine and they are attracted to like-minded, dopamine driven people. Simple as that.

The Builder type likes other Builder types and they are both driven by Serotonin

When it comes to the Negotiator and the Director types, they are attracted to opposites.

So, next time you’re on the look for a partner, remember which type of personality you are before you go out hunting. Now, take a look around again and see if you know more about why him? why her?

So, now you have my thoughts. Watch the video and leave your comments below.


Elsewhere on the Net

The Realities of Love at First Site



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