Life After Cheating
Can a relationship survive an affair? Of course it can! That’s the wrong question though.
If you ask the wrong question – guess what – you get the wrong answer.
A marriage, your marriage even can survive an affair but … do you want it to? Why?
Has he ratted on you? Has he betrayed you, your children, your marriage, the memories, the whole life you’ve built together? Then, why would you want to keep him?
Did you say because of the the children, the marriage, the memories, the whole life we’ve built together? Many women do say just that. But is it enough? Where is the mention of love; seeing a future together; only one for me etc?
Sometimes we hold onto a relationship because of the past rather than because of the present and the future. I suggest it is not enough to start a new life with your partner after his infidelities because of your history, what you’ve shared, what you’ve built. That is unlikely to be enough to glue your marriage back together and keep if ‘affair-proof’.
Why Did He Cheat?
This goes to the very hear fo the matter. Having an affair is usually inexcusable and before you can seriously contemplate life together after the affair I suggest you need to know why that cheating happened in the first place.
Do you know that? Have you gone beyond the questions of who, where, how many times, and do you love her to ask why? Why did your man stray? Why did he break the vows of trust he made with you? What drove him to be unfaithful?
Are the answers too raw to contemplate? Yes, it is inexcusable what he has done and, if you are seriously thinking of either wallpapering over this indiscretion or moving on without understanding why, then maybe you already know some of the answers.
Sure, the wounds are too sore to heal immediately and why would you even want to open them wider? I suggest this is a good thing to do because it’s easier to do while you are already bared and broken. You will need support and help – do not keep this to yourself. Seek counseling for yourself and explore what is it about your marriage or relationship that needs changing.
Can you see this as a heart wrenching opportunity? Probably not now, especially if you’ve just discovered the affair. However, in time you may come to realize that this is THE very best time to troll over your hidden thoughts and denials and understand better, not just your relationship but yourself too.
That’s my opinion. Now check out the video for a different viewpoint.
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