Why People Have Affairs

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Why Do People in Relationships Have Affairs?

The number one reason that people have affairs is not about their relationship with their husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. It is not about the person that they have the affair with. It is not even about compatibility testing their relationship. Often it is not even about love. That remains – often.


The primary reason that people have affairs has got nothing to do with anyone else. It is to do with themselves and themselves alone. It is because they no longer feel good about themselves.

We make choices on how we feel about ourselves. We make decisions – big and small, good and bad – based on our feelings.

Is there is one word that Connie Podesta would use to describe what is missing in people who are having emotional or marriage affairs, it is character.

So, what does she mean by character? Character is that side of us, our personality that we show to the world when things are not going well. It is not the happy, smiley bluffy person that our partners see when all is going well in our lives. It is the person that we are, or become when the going gets tough.

So, are things going well or badly for you at the moment? have you lost your job? Is you self esteem low? Are you taking things out on the kids or are you holding yourself together, doing the best that you can and taking responsibility for what you have in your life – good and bad? If you are then you are showing true character.

Life is about choices and we all have choices about whether we go out on a date and be the best person we can be, or whether we choose to work towards saving our marriage, or taking any job because it will help our families. We make choices every moment of every day.


The only question is, are you making good choices that reflect on you as being person of good character? Are you having an illicit affair?

So, now you have my thoughts on Affairs and Relationships…

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